I’ve been in relationships, I’ve been out of relationships and I’ve watched quite of lot of relationships too. Watched couples get together and part ways with each other. And more often than not, I’ve seen relationships and marriages fail. I’ve had people talk to me about their relationships and breakups. And much like you I used to wonder if there was such a thing as true love, and what signs would show it.
While it isn’t so easily found, it does actually exist. And no, it’s not the type of love you see in fairy tales. I don’t think there’s such a love like the kind you find in fairy tales. In real life, real love takes more than just words to come through.
It’s a whole lot more than merely saying you love a person. Words are easy, and unfortunately love is not. But this doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter to tell a person how much you love them. But more than just saying it, you have to show it. And if you show it enough over time, it grows. And as it grows you discover that you require less to love, it becomes more unconditional, and you start to even expect less (from whoever it is you love) to give love.
So what exactly is true love
I don’t have a definite definition for true love, I’m not going to search for one either, because I don’t think there is. True love is one of the hardest things to define, true love is hard to understand. This might be the reason why most people are skeptical about it. So I’ll do my best to explain what true love is really about in this article and explain some basic or rather general signs of true love, so you don’t go confusing it with something else.
First, I’m going to say I don’t believe true love can be found. It’s not something you go out looking for and it’s definitely not what you feel when you have a crush on somebody, and it’s not also what is felt when people say they fell in love at first sight. No, true love goes much deeper than that.
True love is built through time. It grows, it knows patience, forgiveness, understanding, kindness, it doesn’t expect much and most of all it knows sacrifice. I put it in this order because I believe sacrifice is most important. What better way is there to show how much love you have in your heart for a person other than genuinely making sacrifices for them? I feel this should undoubtedly be the most obvious sign of true love. And if you’ve been wondering if what you feel for your partner or spouse is true love or not, then this should be the first thing you consider. Ask yourself how much you’re willing to sacrifice for them and you might already have your answer.
Signs of true love
So now let’s talk about the signs of true love and by the end of this article, if you’re convinced that what you have with your partner isn’t, you then might be able to work on building something better. Now remember I said real love is no fairy tale. This means that you shouldn’t expect it to be some primrose path with absolutely no issues or difficulties. It is rather difficult times in relationships that are the true test of love.
I just feel I can’t overemphasize when it comes to the matter of sacrifice when talking about love. There is no love without a bit of sacrifice in the first place. In fact, I’d say it is on the basis of sacrifice that other characteristics of love can manifest. And you know what? Except a person is totally out to deceive or take advantage of another person, it’s really hard to sacrifice for a person you don’t really care about. This means you can’t act it. You might be able to pretend to like your partner’s actions or pretend to be understanding or kind. But its way harder to just act out sacrifice.
A relationship in which both parties genuinely sacrifice for each other is one to treasure. But you have to be careful about this. Love does require sacrifice but it doesn’t require that you be in a situation to be taken advantage of.
I’ve often seen relationships in which sacrifice was one sided. And such relationships are quite dangerous especially for the person sacrificing everything. True love doesn’t leave you sacrificing your self-respect or integrity. If you are in a relationship where your partner isn’t willing to get out of their comfort zone to do the least things for you and expect you offer up so much more, then you most definitely aren’t in the right place. More often than not, in a relationship like that, you’d be taken advantage of and left broken in the end. True love is never built on those kinds of relationships. This requires effort from both parties. This should lead up to my second point. Which is:
True love goes both ways
True love doesn’t leave you begging and running after a love you know can’t be yours. It doesn’t leave you miserable either. If it’s true love then you don’t have to beg or ask for it, it’s rather comforting. That being said, it requires two people who are willing and who love each other mutually. If you can’t force your love on another then you can’t build true love with a person who doesn’t feel same way about you.
It does take time to build love so deep and in that time a lot of things will play out. The most important thing is to make sure that through whatever time, you have cared for each other, been there for each other and tried your best to keep each other happy. And in being this way with your partner, you both will know you have something special and you’ll know that you’re building something even more special, and you’re both actively doing it together. In that time, you’d have noticed how much easier it has been to love each other. True love is unachievable when only one person tries and sacrifices.
Its only true love when both parties are willing to put in their best to ensure the happiness of the other person and success of the relationship. Also in fighting to keep your relationship or the love between you and your partner, always remember that it’s never worth it if you have to fight alone. True love goes both ways.
True loves makes it easier to forgive
Well, you probably already know how essential forgiveness is for a relationship to thrive. However, true love makes this a hell lot whole easier. We can look at it this way, when two people in a relationship really love each other, it’s less likely for either of them to deliberately hurt the other. So they’re not going to want to intentionally do things that could hurt either of them.
Also let’s say one of them did something to hurt the other, chances are that they’re going to feel remorseful about it when they see how much it hurts the other person. This means they’re going put in effort and try as much as they can to make up for whatever they did. They’re also probably going to be very careful about repeating the same mistake. And for the person who has been hurt, it’s going to be easy to notice how much the other person regrets their action. At this point, the person who has been hurt would probably not see much of a reason to stay angry at they’re partner anymore.
It’s this way when its true love and it’s even better. Because even without knowing how remorseful your partner is, you still feel compelled to forgive. It becomes harder to stay angry at your partner for long. And your partner isn’t going to want you to stay angry at them either. So they’re going to come running to you and begging for forgiveness each time they feel they’ve hurt you. And they’re going to step up and take responsibility. Yeah, true love doesn’t offer much room for excuses in a relationship. Because you want your partner to be happy and you understand that excuses won’t help you achieve that.
True love makes you more open and understanding.
It’s easy to misunderstand and always prefer your opinions and perspectives rather than try to see things from other people’s point of view. And this is very common in relationships too, especially where one person tries to be controlling. People are different and perceive things differently and for most couples, understanding doesn’t just happen naturally in the relationship. No matter how well any two people get along, they’re bound to disagree on some things. True love is seen in situations like this: when they accept their differences and always willing to see things from the other person’s perspective.
When people love each other, they pay more attention to each other, they listen more, they’re less imposing and judging, respect each other’s views on matters and are willing to compromise. It matters less that things are done the way you want it, but that you both can be happy with whatever decision you make. And you’re also willing to let your partner have their way with some things. Love feels like not really liking something but being open to try because of someone else.
Honesty and Trust
I’ll be honest with you, these are one of the hardest values to build in a relationship. It’s also probably one of the reasons I said true love is built over time. True love cannot exist between two people who lack trust and are dishonest to each other. And it takes quite a lot to build real trust. This would mean letting your guard down too.
It’s quite easy to lie to people you don’t care about, but most people lie in an attempt to spare the other person from some type of emotional distress and not because they don’t care. Also to cover up deeds that might have been unintentional for fear of hurting the other person. It maybe the hardest thing, but I don’t believe it’s impossible to be entirely honest with your partner. No matter the situation, lying to someone you care about so much is never easy. The guilt doesn’t just drop off your mind. As your love for that person grows, the guilt of doing things you shouldn’t does too. This says something. When you truly love a person it becomes easier for you to just let them know the truth than deal with the burden and guilt of hiding it
Unlike the other signs of true love listed above, you can’t quite always tell how honest your partner is with you. But you can trust that whatever they do, they’ll never do anything deliberately to hurt you. If you ever get to a level where you trust your partner this much and they trust you same, then you’ve both done a great job in building something extraordinarily good between each other. And you probably both truly love each other.
How to build true love.
Like I said, I don’t believe true love is something you just find, it’s built over time. It’s not forced either. And it’s something that can be built between two people who aren’t even a couple. That said, it’s not about being in a relationship with someone that makes it work. But if you find yourself being willing to put someone else before yourself, and pay less attention to their flaws, and expect less from them, then it is possible.
When these four signs are obvious in any relationship then you’ve found two people who truly love each other. And I’m not saying that these are the only signs that show true love. People are entirely different and most people show affection differently. Nevertheless, if it’s really love then you should see a bit of everything I’ve talked about in whatever way they show it.
Let me know what you think in the comment section below.