Whoever it is, when you have loved a person, it hurts so much to sever whatever bond you have had with that person. The feeling that follows after a breakup might not be the worst feeling in the world for most people. However it hurts undoubtedly. If you’ve been left feeling rejected, worthless or throwaway, it might be worth knowing that your breakup might not be as bad for you as it seems now. It might be opening up a door to an even better life for you without you realizing it.
And no matter how terrible or heartbroken you feel right now, believe me when I say things can only get better from here on. In time you’ll be back to being to be you and even better version of you.
And one other good thing about breakups is that they leave you stronger and often with a lesson learnt. So there, you’re a better person already than you were.
Yes, you need time to mourn your loss, but don’t let it get in the way of everything else. Without your ex, you still have a life of your own to live. It’s an opportunity to explore new things, make new friend and rebuild your life, even possibly, a better life. So you just don’t want to know how to get over a breakup, you want to know how happier you can be afterwards.
I remember my first breakup, I remember sitting at the corner of my room and crying for hours. I had just been dumped by a girl who meant so much to me. It took me a while though to realize how much I was better-off without her. I had been somewhat of a toxic relationship without realizing it. It could be this way for you too. It’ll take a while, but in time you might see it too.
And now, let’s help you get over your breakup. These few tips should help you get through it.
Don’t Keep Your Feelings To Yourself.
This is one of times when you really need somebody to talk to, as well as time to grieve. You just had a breakup, it’s okay to feel hurt and confused. It’s okay to grieve for a while. You’re not just going to get over the fact that you just lost someone you deeply cared about. It takes time. And I understand you wish what you feel right now could just disappear, but it doesn’t work that way especially for someone you truly loved.
Don’t try to conceal what you feel or keep your feelings locked up inside. Don’t hold back the tears either, because they’ll just keep coming. It is at this point that you need a friend, a shoulder to cry on.
Find someone to talk to, let all your feelings out and let them console you instead, rather than try to console yourself. If you can’t find anyone to talk to, then a diary or something of that sort might be helpful. So write, if there’s no one to talk to.
At some point the tears won’t come so heavily anymore even though you still don’t feel entirely better yet. And Don’t forget it’s bound to take time to get over a breakup.
Grieve without drinking
I know it’s hard, and you’re probably hurting so much. But there’s no easy way to make the feeling go away. You just have to be brave enough to deal with it. Getting drunk never helps, you might end up doing something stupid that you’ll regret even more.
Don’t do anything stupid
Losing your lover doesn’t mean you’ve lost everything. Whatever you feel right now will be over soon and you’ll have your life back. Always have in mind that no matter how bad or hurt you feel right now, you’ll be over it in time. And you might even meet someone better, who appreciates you more. If you go doing something that you’ll ordinarily not do on a normally, you might just end up hurting yourself even, or ruining your chances at a better life.
If you really loved your ex and he/she couldn’t see that enough to not let you go then your ex doesn’t deserve you, and you deserve someone better.
Accept the breakup
And if you’ve been broken up with, try as much as possible to accept what has happened. No matter how you think about it, you can survive without the person who just broke up with you.
So don’t go begging like you need your ex to survive. You well had a life before the relationship, you’ll still have one after. You don’t want to be running after a person who doesn’t want you anymore. So work on accepting what has happened and moving on.
Delete Pictures of your ex
Keeping pictures of your ex to remember the good times might not be a good idea. If you want to get over your ex, you don’t want to keep things that constantly remind you of him/her. It could make things more complicated for you.
And if you just recently broke up and are still finding it hard to accept the break up, then you should get rid of everything that reminds you of your ex and not just pictures. It helps to not have to think about them so often. It’ll help you pick yourself up faster.
Stop Contacting your ex
I can’t stress enough how important this is. You want to know how to get over a breakup, this is key. I’m not saying don’t have to never speak to your ex again. You just have to cut communication till you’re emotionally stable again.
Delete your ex’s contact if you can’t stop yourself from calling or texting. Also block your ex to stop him/her from contacting either. Sure, it’s okay to be friends after a breakup, but you don’t want to be doing that immediately and especially when you’ve not healed from the heart break or are completely over the breakup.
Block your ex on social media
Quite often you’ll get tempted to check on your ex’s page or profile, or keep an eye out for his/her latest post to try to figure out how he/she doing without you. This can be bad for you, especially when it starts to look like your ex already got over you and is having a great life without you. You’ll hurt all over again. And this can have a bad effect on your self-esteem.
One other thing you want to avoid is posting pictures hoping to get your ex’s attention with them, or posting trying to send a message that you’ve gotten over him/her. You don’t want to care if your ex has seen your post or not and you don’t also want to go checking for your ex’s either. It’ll help you get your mind off your ex which should help you recover faster. So best thing to do is block your ex entirely.
Focus on yourself
The relationship and the breakup was only one phase of your life, and it’s past. So you can’t keep dwelling on it. Don’t spend time wallowing and thinking about what went wrong, or if at all you were loved or what you could’ve to save the relationship. Thoughts like this weigh you down. Although when you get in a new relationship, you should learn from the past one and do things differently (if the breakup was because of something you did wrong).
That being said, it’s time to go out and see the world in a new light. Try new stuff, stuff you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t because of your relationship. Make plans and go out with friends. Meet new people. Go on a vacation, go partying, or visit a gym. Be sure to try stuff you haven’t before.
You could make it a goal to put smiles on other people’s faces too. Be appreciative and give sincere compliments, it could help you feel great about yourself too.
Don’t think you were not good enough
Most people can’t see what’s good for them even if it was staring them in the face. If you were broken up with, it doesn’t mean that you weren’t good enough for your ex. There could have been other reasons for the breakup that were not necessarily about you.
It might have been because you guys weren’t just a right match for each other. Whatever it might’ve been, don’t ever think there’s a problem with you or you weren’t good enough. In time you’ll find someone who really loves and appreciate you.
Don’t get into another relationship just after your breakup
Jumping into another relationship immediately for whatever reason might not be a good idea. After a breakup comes time for yourself and not time for a new relationship. You need time to clear your head and be sure that you’re not jumping into a new relationship because you feel lonely or because you think it’ll help you forget the previous one.
There’s no guarantee that it won’t end as badly as the previous one did. I’m not saying “no” to going on dates. If you think you’ve done a good job at getting over your breakup so far, then sure, you can go on dates. And take a little bit more time to know how compatible you are with your new admirer or crush before getting in a relationship. So you don’t end up heartbroken again.
If you’ve been broken up with and got your self-esteem affected, it’s most likely that you’ll be susceptible to little shows of affection and attention.
That’s more reason why you shouldn’t get into a relationship just yet if you feel your self-esteem was affected. Like I said earlier, you need time, time to heal, time to get better and time to forgive too, or you might just end up settling for lesser than you deserve.
Hangout a lot with friends and people who appreciate having you around
This could be both a great way to rebuild your self-esteem and deal with loneliness. You either want to leave the house as much as possible or go out as much as possible, either ways be sure you don’t have time for thoughts about the breakup.
There so many thing you can do with friends to have fun. You could play games, watch movies together, or throw a party. Whatever it is, be sure you’re having fun.
Don’t spend time trying to get make your ex jealous
If you spend time trying to get make your ex jealous, you’ll be missing the whole point of trying to get over your breakup. It’s a desperate attempt that most often than not fails. And so what if you get your ex back from making him/her jealous. It’s most likely that he/she will leave a second just like the first time.
And if you’re thinking you just need to do it as some sort of payback and you don’t necessarily need your ex back. Think about where that leaves you.
You spend so much time thinking about somebody else who doesn’t want you in his/her life anymore. You’re focusing your energy the wrong direction. Point is, you should be spending all that time on yourself rather than your ex. It should be a time for you to improve on yourself.
There’s just no getting over your breakup if you keep doing stuff for your ex’s sake. Doing stuff to make your ex jealous is doing stuff for your ex. And what better way is there to prove that you’re still miserably seeking for your ex’s attention. So you’ve got to try to not care about your ex anymore.
Work on rebuilding your self-esteem
You need to feel just as good (even better) as you once felt about yourself again. Workout, get a new look, learn some new skill, post on social media lots of pictures and let people tell you how amazing you look.
Set new goals and work on achieving them, know the feeling of accomplishment. Get creative, get a hobby and challenge to exceed your limits. You’d amazed at the results you get.
Finally stop talking about your breakup or back biting your ex
Finally it’s time to move on. Stop talking about details of your breakup or making your ex look like such a terrible person to your friends. You have to forgive at some point because it does you a whole lot more good. The breakup might have been unfair, your ex might have been an asshole, but you have to forget all that now and move on.
Don’t hold on to hate. Whatever it is that happened, you can be a better person now because your ex walked out of your life. So work on yourself and let go of the past. You can’t hold on to the past while desiring a better future.
A breakup isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you, you just have to be strong and brave enough to go through it all. Remember it’s a time to work on yourself and be better. If you read this article solely wanting to know how to get over a breakup, I hope you found it helpful. And I hope you find love again.
Read about how to get back with your ex.